How to Write a Valentine That Woos and Wows Your Honey (in 6 Minutes or Less!)

5 min readFeb 2, 2022

Thinking of Valentine’s dinner at Chez Expensif, a box of vitamin-infused chocolates and a Tiffany mood ring for your sweetheart, heartthrob or secret-crush-you’re-working-up-the-courage-to-ask?

Or maybe fancying up some Trader Joe’s fare for a “home-cooked” meal by candlelight, while you don a lacy red negligee or leather undies underneath a slinky black dress or suit (“surprise”)?

Sure, the trite-yet-trendy Valentine’s staples have their appeal, but the thing that will most win your honey’s heart is a personal valentine, written from your heart to his (or hers or theirs). It will make that dinner — wherever you end up eating — especially memorable.

Dr. Randy Kamen, author of Behind the Therapy Door, says, “Personal notes and letters have become more and more a rarity in today’s world of technology. There is nothing quite as special or meaningful as a handwritten card and a sincere expression of gratitude to a loved one. Research repeatedly shows that such acts of appreciation benefit both the giver and the receiver physically and mentally.”

You won’t have to think long or hard, either: I’ve taken my previous 18 minute valentine-creation-process and whittled it down to 5 minutes and 54 seconds — with fresh ideas and a handy fill-in-the-blank system that will result in a personal, authentic and melt-the-heart message.

6 Steps, 6 Minutes to a Personal Valentine

Step 1: Close Your Eyes and Take a Deep Breath— 30 seconds — To come from your heart, you’ve got to take half a minute to connect with what’s “down there” — below your clavicle, that is.

Step 2: Get in the Mood — 30 seconds — Picture your partner, or imagine their scent or voice. Getting in touch with sensation helps your creativity flow.

Step 3: Start Simply With Your Honey’s Name, “Dear ________,” — 3 seconds — Feel free to go lovey-dove with a private nickname — or just keep it simple with their actual name.

Step 4: Make a List — 4 minutes — I love lists. They’re fun, easy and take the pressure off from trying to be profound. Lists flow with ease. Not sure what to list? No worries. I’ve got your back. Following Step 6 you’ll find 4 lists to choose from.

Step 5: Enhance — 49 seconds — Look it over, using the 3 tips below.

Step 6: Sign Your Name — 2 seconds — With love, or simply sign your name — whatever feels comfortable and right for this stage of your relationship.

A List of Lists: 4 List Ideas to Get You Started

“3 Favorite Memories of You” — Share the little things that make you love them: an act of kindness, something that made you grow closer, something that turned you on.
“Our Best Day Ever” — The day you met? An amazing vacation? A lazy day in bed? Make a list of 5 things that made that day extraordinary.
“10 Things I Love about You” — Include physical traits, quirky habits, talents and personality.
“5 Things We Can Do After Dinner” — Here’s your invitation to get steamy.

Or skip the list and start with one of these:

“I fell in love with you when…”
“I’m better when I’m with you, because…”
“You changed my life for the better when you…”
“My valentine’s fantasy begins with…”
“I knew you were the one when…”

Valentine Tips

Tip #1: Be specific and quirky: If you keep your remarks general, it won’t feel personalized. Write about something very specific to your honey.

Tip #2: Feel free to infuse humor: Dr. Craig Malkin, a relationship expert and Instructor in Psychology at Harvard Medical School says, “Humor’s a known aphrodisiac. It lights up the pleasure and reward centers of the brain: Funny is sexy.”

Tip #3: Use all your senses: Remember the first rule of good writing? ‘Show vs. Tell.’ When you use more than just the visual sense, the writing will come alive for your reader. It will feel more real and authentic — and have more impact.

Extra Credit: Make a Homemade Valentine Card

You can purchase a blank card with a beautiful photo or image at your local gift shop or bookstore but if you have the time and inclination, why not demonstrate your devotion by taking an extra 10 or 15 minutes to make a homemade valentine?

Here’s how:

Supplies needed: Construction paper, glue, scissors

Optional supplies: newsprint, recycled magazines, photos of you and your beloved, lacy doily, ribbon, watercolor paper and paints, or anything else you care to play with.

Take a piece of construction paper. Pink or red is traditional but don’t feel boxed in. Any color can work. Fold the paper in half to make the card.
Cut out a heart shape from another color construction paper, a colorful page from a magazine or even a page from a newspaper. If you want, you can glue it to a doily (a paper lace in the shape of a circle or heart).
Glue the doily or the heart to the front of the card.
Optional: add a photo of you and your honey and glue that to the middle of the heart.
Cut out several smaller hearts and glue them around and/or on top of the first heart.
Add more bling — sparkle glue, rhinestone stickers, ribbon or lace.
Let it dry.
Once dry, open the card and write your valentine message.

Or make a book out of your writing

Paint postcard-sized watercolor paper with a light wash of watercolor paints, varying each card.
Punch 2 or 3 holes along the vertical or horizontal edge in the same position on each card.
Write one item of your list or one memory on each card.
Put a title on the top card “Things I love about you” or “I remember when…”
Tie the cards together with a satin ribbon. Ta-da!

Happy Valentine’s Day. Share your tips or ideas as a comment below. What’s the loveliest (or hottest) valentine you ever received?